Things You Would Never Know Without The Movies

• During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
• All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
• All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
• The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No-one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
• Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
• A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
• Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
• If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
• Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
• Wearing a vest or stripping to the waist can make a man invulnerable to bullets.
• If you find yourself caught up in a misunderstanding that could be cleared up quickly with a simple explanation, for goodness sake, keep your mouth shut.
• Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
• A cough is usually the sign of a terminal illness.
• All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
• When in love, it is customary to burst into song.
• When confronted by an evil international terrorist, sarcasm and wisecracks are your best weapons.
• One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them than 20 men firing at 1 man.
• Creepy music coming from a cemetery should always be investigated more closely.
• If being fired at by Germans, hide in a river - or even a bath. German bullets are unable to penetrate water.
• Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
• Freelance helicopter pilots are always eager to accept bookings from international terrorist organizations - even though the job will require them to shoot total strangers and will end in their own certain death as the helicopter explodes in a ball of flames.
• Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper clippings - especially if any of their family or friends have died in a strange boating accident.
• All computer disks will work in all computers, regardless of software.
• Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
• When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
• Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste by their actions.
• You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
• Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
• You can tell if somebody is British because they will be wearing a bow tie.
• When driving a car it is normal to look not at the road but at the person sitting beside you or in the back seat for the entire journey.
• An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight year old child.
• Having a job of any kind will make fathers forget their son's eighth birthday.
• Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
• If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert in Nuclear Fission at age 22.
• The more a man and a woman hate each other, the more likely they will fall in love.