| Answers: | |
| Pat Buchanan: | To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American. |
| Louis Farrakhan: | The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the black man in order to trample him and keep him down. |
| Bill Gates: | I have just released the new Chicken 2000, which will both cross roads AND balance your checkbook, though when it divides 3 by 2 it gets 1.4999999999. |
| The Bible: | And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,Thou shalt cross the road and the Chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing. |
| Freud: | The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. |
| L.A. Police Department: | Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out. |
| Richard M. Nixon: | The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road. |
| Saddam Hussein: | This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. |
| Saddam Hussein #2: | It is the Mother of all Chickens. |
| Dr. Seuss: | Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed it, I've not been told! |
| Martin Luther King, Jr.: | I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question. |
| Timothy Leary: | Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take. |
| Fox Mulder: | You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it? |
| Scully: | It was a simple bio-mechanical reflex that is commonly found in chickens. |
| Darwin: | Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads. |
| Darwin #2: | It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees. |
| Jerry Seinfeld: | Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, what the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway? |
| Colonel Sanders: | I missed one? |
| O.J.: | It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time. |
| Kindergarten Teacher: | To get to the other side. |
| Plato: | For the greater good. |
| Aristotle: | It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. |
| Karl Marx: | It was a historical inevitability. |
| Jack Nicholson: | cause it f...g wanted to. That's the f...g reason. |
| Captain James T. Kirk: | To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. |
| Johnny Carson: | Because it heard there was a man over there laying bricks and it wanted to see for itself! |
| Moses: | And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing. |
| Machiavelli: | The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was. |
| Einstein: | Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference. |